Monday, September 15, 2008

School Starts = Emotional Wreck

Today I am 5 days from my due date. 5 days and counting... FIVE more days...
My other kids came a few days early, so I've been sort of thinking I'll go into labor on Wednesday, but REALLY, I could have 2 more weeks, right? Let's not think about that.
We've been so busy trying to get this house in order and we have been saying "NOT YET" for so long, it is strange to say "okay. I'm ready. Any time now..." !!
My son's kindergarten teacher, and my daughter's preschool teacher both told us to be prepared for all of the emotional turmoil our kids would experience these past two weeks - that they would be SO busy during the day and trying so hard to keep everything under control, that when they came home we should really expect the worst! My kids? Happy as larks. ME? Crying just about every single day. I can blame a bit of it on the preggo hormones, but holy cow was everything overwhelming! Not only did I have BUCKETS of paper work to fill out for them both, new schedules to adhere to - times to remember, backpacks to be packed every morning, etc. etc., but my baby boy is at school EVERY SINGLE DAY! And he hasn't even looked back! He is so happy at school, and so proud of himself. And of course I'm completely proud of him as well, but not even one "I missed you today, mama" has escaped his lips. The closest he's come to this is asking if he really had to go to school "every SINGLE day?!" And when I confirmed this, he said "for how long, like, 2 years??" After that sunk in a little, he said "I'd really like to stay home and play with my Lego's some days!" He's actually been making his good byes further and further from the door of his classroom every day. He is in his SECOND week of KINDERGARTEN. He actually asked if he could say good bye on the playground and just head into school on his own last week. what???
The worst part is that my sweet funny happy daughter is NOT liking her first days of preschool. I've left her twice screaming and reaching for me. I usually make it to the car before I break down sobbing.
I thought it was difficult being the mom of the most social guy in the class, fielding the crappy "class clown" comments, and being held after EVERY SINGLE CLASS my son has ever taken (except kindergarten - YES!) to hear about how he has trouble listening in class. I'll tell you it is VERY much harder pulling up to my daughter's school to see her playing ALONE in the play area outside. She was extremely shy when she was younger - my friends would say they knew she could talk because they heard her in the background when they talked to me on the phone, but she would never speak in front of them. We have made HUGE headway since she turned 3 in April. The idea of her gorgeous bright personality being locked inside and her just getting through the morning at school absolutely breaks my heart. She has grown up with her ice breaking brother leading the way and her following happily behind him. Now there is no Mr. H. to meet people so she can play with them. Before bed the other night as we finished up reading books and she was snuggling down to sleep, she bolted upright and said, "I know KATIE!!! THAT'S a friend!!" ugh. Like she only has that one friend at school, and she was celebrating in her own little way. Twist the fork deeper. I'm sure she will get used to it all, and make tons of friends eventually, but ugh.


  1. WOW!!! You have a lot on your plate!! I am sending you a hug in support!!! Happy soon "Birth" Day! We have a painfully shy girl in our network. She is so not the same child that she was at preschool! She is 9 now and everyday comes further and further out of her shell. Happy Back-to-School and keep on keeping on!!!

    Smiles - Stacey

  2. I'm so happy to hear that! I dropped her off on Friday to full on tears, again! I think "maybe she just isn't ready for this!" but then I think the longer we wait the harder it will be on her. Hopefully she'll make some friends and be more excited to see them than she is sad to see me go!